Parshat Vayishlah: Refusing Selfish Favors
by Rabbi Lobel

(Genesis; Chapter 33, Verse 12) And he (Esau) said, “Travel on and let us go – I will proceed alongside you.” But he (Jacob) said to him (Esau), “My lord knows that the children are tender, and the nursing flocks and cattle are upon me; and they will drive them hard for one day, then all the flocks will die.”

After meeting Jacob, Esau offers to accompany his brother so that Jacob can benefit from his protection. Jacob declines; his young children and livestock cannot keep pace with Esau's four hundred men.

According to tradition, the Romans are descended from Esau, the father of the Aryan race.

[Genesis; Chapter 36, verse 1,8,19 - “Esau, he is Edom.” Rashi comments (verse 40) all the Chiefs of Edom had countries named after them. Chief Magdiel (verse 43) is Rome.

The Ramban (Nachmandies) quotes an incident which occurred to Rebbe Yanai (of the Tannaic era):
Before each of his journeys to Rome, Rebbe Yannai would review the torah portion of the meeting between Jacob and Esau. One time, Rebbe Yannai did not review this torah portion. He then allowed a Roman to accompany him back to Israel. Before they even reached Acco, Rebbe Yanai lost all his possessions and horse due to the Roman's neglect.

The Ramban continues:
The way Jacob dealt with Esau was a lesson for generations. Esau and his descendants only cared about themselves, neglecting others and their possessions.

According to the Ramban's view, Jacob was only politely excusing himself from Esau's offer for protection. Jacob understood that Esau had selfish motives underlying every “generous” offer and appropriately distanced himself from his brother.

Unfortunately, purely altruistic motives are rare, indeed. We often hope that by helping others we also, in some way, help ourselves. However, the more we focus on others' needs, the more sensitive we become to others' feelings, the more we can act for the right reasons. After all, we are the children of Jacob.